bringing home the veggies

So Nate is now playing on a soccer team that Michael coaches and I "manage" which brings the entire family to Mccarren Park every Saturday morning around 10am. Which means, of course, we are obligated to go to the amazing weekly farmer's market there that we too often avoid out of sheer laziness.

Last weekend we hit it after a winning game and Michael and I separated, each buying way too much produce. When I told Michael that we could not buy any more vegetables because we didn't have room in our fridge and it would all go bad before we could eat and what was the point of buying it if it was going to go bad...he said, "I love you very much." And then proceeded to buy more carrots.

We are a good match because Michael curbs my neurosis with passion and good humor and I fulfill his culinary dreams often based on too much of a good thing. He is the dreamer and I'm the doer. And of course I made it my mission this week to eat, cook, serve or preserve all the many veggies we bought which started with Michael cleaning and cutting the carrots and celery. Huge help!! The only way the market load every really works is if you get home and do all the primary prep work so you see beautiful clean colors and not bags of dirt when you open the fridge.

Anyway, I was on a mission so every evening we had cut up veggies and dip to tide everyone over until dinner. Mack must have eaten 60 carrots this week. Next best use: soup. I made a beautiful zucchini soup which lasted us all week. And finally, this incredibly delicious spaghetti squash with garlic and cheese.

nope, dinner is still not ready and whining won't help

in

I realized today that we are making progress. Only one year ago, this is how our family dinner went down:

Family Dinner, 2014

5:45 pm: Nate is in his room-he was punished for calling me a poopy-head and hitting Mack in the bath. Mack is crying because he’s hungry.

6 pm: Michael gets home. 

6:15 pm: we sit down for dinner but the chicken isn’t ready yet and Nate refuses to even try the cauliflower with cheese sauce or humous and carrots. He asks for ketchup. Mack eats everything but wants what everybody else is eating, even though it’s the same thing that’s on his plate. He cries and begs with no words throughout dinner making conversation very difficult.

6:18 pm: Nate eats four strands of pasta and asks to be excused. We say no and he slides off his chair onto the floor, then tries to stick forks in water bottles. We tell Nate to join us; he cries. Mack cries and begs to be let down from his chair even though he’s still eating. Nate goes to his room while Mack cries. We let Mack down and quickly finish the boys’ dinner.

6:25pm : I clean up a million dishes.

When I talk to the many amazing, smart, accomplished women I know who lament the fact that they have to make dinner for their family, I get it, and for the first time in a long time, I think I can be useful. Since leaving the professional world six years ago, I've had a hard time feeling adequate but the one area I've mastered is cooking for my family. So until I return to the office or publish a bestseller, I'd like to offer some tips, strategies and recipes—along with humor and empathy— for my mom friends who are out doing the hard stuff of working, parenting, being a woman in this world. Dads, of course, welcome too.

6:00 pm sucks. It is the most stressful part of the day--parents are exhausted from work (or taking care of kids); kids are tired and hungry and whining or fighting. It's hard to come up with creative meals that will feed everyone and not repeat the same thing every night. It's hard to know what to do in advance or what should be saved for later. It's hard to make something healthy and simple with minimal cleanup.

Let's start from the beginning: Kids are hungry. Dinner is not ready. What to do? Put some cut up veggies in a bowl. Next open a single serving bowl of plain greek yogurt and mix in some seasoned salt (or onion salt). Add a tablespoon of milk and stir. Announce your creation and set it out on the table. Pour the wine.

to veg...or not to veg

in

Is it okay for your child to eat no vegetables? Like none at all. I guess the answer to that question is probably, no, it’s not alright but my son seems to be living pretty well on a diet of NO VEGETABLES.

For awhile we were on a one-vegetable gig-carrots were the one and only veg he ate but he would eat one or two minis at every meal—or be punished. Really. We once sent him to bed because he wouldn’t finish his carrots and then felt terrible when he actually did go to bed for the night in his clothes. I hate to make this a fight but I’ve tried every other option. See Carrot Mac and Cheese.

Last week, under the forgiving gaze of two adoring grandparents, he refused his one baby carrot. I pushed and pushed and 30 minutes later he was still nibbling through the baby carrot in mini microbites. When he finally finished it, he made a weird gagging noise, came over to me and threw up ONLY CARROT all over me. It wasn’t a lot of vomit-baby carrots are small—but it was the whole baby carrot, the one I made him eat, in regurgitated flecks on my lap. I have to admit it was a brilliant move that Michael and I now refer to as “throwing up the carrot”- when a kid makes it almost impossible to continue making him do something.

Anyway, a few days ago Nate announced that he was through with carrots. Not surprising. He refused cucumbers and snow peas – former favorites—so I was forced to pack an apple in his lunchbox instead of the usual veggie cuts. This went on for awhile until I finally declared my case again at dinner:

Me: “YOU HAVE TO EAT A VEGETABLE.” 

Nate: “I AM! I AM EATING APPLES!”